Self-Discipline vs. Casting Our Cares on Jesus

I am a person who is often guilty of thinking in terms of black or white.  I often overlook the gray areas.  Lately, I have realized that I keep laying the same sin at the cross.  Over and over I repent; only to continue the same bad habits.  I know that a truly repentant heart is a changed one, but I actually do feel really guilty for doing the same thing over and over again.  It is really difficult to stop something that has become a habit, especially if you enjoy the bad habit.  It makes me feel like a rat in a cage.  I keep begging God to help me, and I keep spinning my wheels.

I am a personal trainer, and I probably have healthier habits than the average American.  I workout numerous times per week.  I eat healthy most of the time, but definitely not all the time.  Since I got married over two years ago my self-discipline seems to have gone out the window.  I have been overeating on a daily basis, pretty consistently, for two years.  This may not sound like a big deal, but I'm a personal trainer.  This is a job hazard.  I know better.  Luckily, I have been working out consistently.  I am by no means obese, but I'm also not Jillian.  I have still been able to help my clients regardless of my shortcomings, but I know that I could help them much more by modeling the right eating behaviors in my own life.

Over the past day and a half I came to to the realization that I have been expecting God to just do this for me.  Just take it off me.  I keep casting my cares on Jesus while giving into the desires of the flesh.  I have been guilty of thinking that if I just pray about it that I will suddenly have more discipline.  I have not been taking any personal responsibility.  God helps those who help themselves.  I was thinking the concept of self-discipline was opposite of casting my cares on Jesus.  In reality the two concepts work in tandem.  Once again I had missed the gray area.  

I don't know how I expected God to answer my prayers.  Was I expecting God to make me suddenly hate pizza?  Did I expect him to count my calories for me?  Maybe I wanted him to fill the void that all my cravings will never satisfy, but that doesn't mean I can just sit on the couch and wait for that day to come.  I have to exercise the spirit of self-discipline he has already given me. I actually have to do the work.  I have to stay in the word, forgive myself for the past, accept God's grace, and take steps towards changing my own habits. I bought the book, Made to Crave.  Buying it was the easy part.  It will only help me if I actually take the time and do the reading.  More importantly, how can I expect to grow in Christ without reading my Bible?

The following scripture and devotional really drove the point home for me today.

2 Peter 1 (New International Version)

 ¹ Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ,
   To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours:
 ² Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

Confirming One’s Calling and Election

 ³ His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. ⁴ Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.  ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.
 ¹⁰ Therefore, my brothers and sisters,^[a] make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, ¹¹ and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


Devotional:

Do You Want to Get Well?

Dear Lord,
I do want to get well.  I'm sorry for all my lame excuses.  I'm ready to make changes in my life.  I'm ready for you to change my heart.  I want you to be first over my life.  I'm so grateful that even when I have given up that you have never given up on me.  Thank you so much for your mercy and grace.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.